All too often, couples who ‘duke it out’ in court fixate almost entirely on the ‘winning’ aspect. People fight their partner in court over a multitude of reasons – anger, pride, principles, revenge, or just because they think they’re supposed to! People may also fight because their friends, families or lawyers are egging them on and encouraging you to ‘make the nasty person pay!
Whatever the reason, couples that take their divorce to court are BOTH going to lose. The only winner is, well… the legal system.
The point is that you’re not doing yourself or your children any favours by spending all your time and money fighting one another. You’ll only end up amplifying the emotional toil it takes on your family. And, once the dust settles, guess how much of your money there is left to go around after a lengthy legal battle….
Divorce is not a game or a battle to be won. There are no winners in divorce. Husband, wife, partner, children – everyone loses something. There are always casualties and collateral damage.
In a Common Sense Divorce scenario, “WINNING” is about the separation process and subsequent agreement that you work out with your spouse. If you can, avoid becoming one of those individuals that trusts everything to the ‘fairness’ and ‘equanimity’ of the family court system. The court system is expensive, frightfully over-burdened and frequently abused. If your divorce does end up in family court, you have effectively handed the decision-making process over to a third-party – one that may not decide in a way that you assume they should.
Instead of seeing divorce as a battle, you need to look at divorce as an agreement – an agreement that allows both parties to move forward separately with their respective lives in a way that both parties find fair and beneficial to all – particularly the kids. This doesn’t mean that you have squash your anger or even LIKE your soon-to-be-ex. But it does mean that you’ll have to find a better (and less expensive) outlet for your rage. Channel your anger into your kick-boxing class and keep it out of the legal offices.
So how do you keep your divorce out of court? Well, if you can keep a cool head and manage your emotions, you and your spouse have plenty of options:
MEDIATION: Mediation provides a confidential, non-adversarial process through which divorcing spouses can negotiate their own settlement with the aid of an impartial third-party.
COLLABORATION: A Collaborative Divorce is one in which a specialized team of lawyers work with both of you to keep your divorce out of court.
SELF-FACILITATED DIVORCE: Self-Facilitated services permit individuals facing simple uncontested divorces to handle much of the divorce process themselves.
The Common Sense Divorce will help you to de-escalate expensive and destructive emotions, protect your hard earned assets and to move forward with a clear and concise plan that allows you to make decisions about your family’s future. A Common Sense Divorce will empower you to move forward with your life.
The Common Sense Divorce is pleased to be a founding partner and core sponsor of the Ontario Divorce Information Network.
The Ontario Divorce Information Network (ODIN) is a Free Divorce information service for Ontario residents researching separation and divorce in the Province of Ontario. The ODIN Platform is committed to dispute resolution processes and will provide you with information, better personalized and customized to your unique situation.
The Common Sense Divorce is pleased to be a founding partner and core sponsor of the Ontario Divorce Information Network (ODIN).
The ODIN Platform is a Free Divorce information service for Ontario residents researching separation and divorce in the Province of Ontario.